WHY WE PAY SEX WORKERS ………clients speak

Men are curious and generally love adventure. This statement was not foreseen as the interview with sex workers' client started. The Network of Journalists living with HIV (JLWAH) had embarked on interviews to find out why sex work is on the increase despite HIV and STI upsurge in the country. The JLWAH, Kenyan chapter, has been carrying out  interviews in a bid to reach the clients and educate them on transmission and prevention of HIV and other STIs.

But the clients interviewed had various reasons why they go out to “buy sex”. A client who sought anonymity for fear of prejudice said that he has been married for the last eight years and has had more sex with the sex workers than his wife. He lamented that his wife is ever on board, a flight. He noted that she is either in a workshop out of the country or she is busy preparing for a meeting.  “We hardly have time as husband and wife!”

But this was not so with yet another who said that he derived pleasure from “violent and angry sex” He confessed that whenever he is annoyed or distressed, he gets cooled down by having violent sex. This, he said, he does during the day time to avoid suspicion from his wife whom ironically he called an angel. Having been married for three years, the man pointed out that there are things he cannot do to his wife. He noted that he likes it when he beats the girl and roughly has sex with her before banging the door leaving all his stress and anger behind.

The father of one said that he has never had unprotected sex adding that he was surprised that most sex workers carried their own condoms and opted to put them on their clients. This explained the role of many organizations in Kenya in educating sex workers on safe and correct condom use. He said that the sex workers did not mind his violence but were very cautious that the condom does not burst and he pays his bill!

The spotlight indicated that most clients are married men and pay better than the single, young men. An unmarried young man was categorical that he was fond of paying the female sex workers because they are less expensive. “A wife is very expensive and offers very little,” he lamented.

He expressed that his involvement with female sex workers is non-committal. He noted that he can do away with a girl anytime he wished. He also pointed out that he opts to have different women who play different roles for payment. These roles, he said, included having sex, warming him on a cold night, or washing his clothes and cooking for him. All these are roles that a wife would do but “charge” more expensively in the name of upkeep. “Whenever I pay a sex worker, it is none of my business where she takes her money, she can buy food or have a hair-do for all I care!” he said adding that that is not so with a wife. He noted that for a wife you need to buy her clothes, feed her and meet all her other needs.

Female sex workers interviewed on violent men said that they did not mind as long as the man paid for whatever service.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SEX WORKER

It is 10.00 in the morning. Muthoni* is still writhing in bed nursing a heavy hangover. She had drunk herself crazy last night. What was that noise? Something must have woken her up otherwise she did not intend to wake up this early. Two women are quarreling outside and she thought she heard her name being mentioned. She lazily wakes up and looks for a basin from under her bed. Quickly she splashes water on her face and walks out. Her body is heavy and painful.

“Isn’t it too early for a quarrel?” she asks facing the two women. “And for heaven’s sake how did you drag me into that” she demands.  She learns that yesterday her son was involved in a fight where one of the boy’s shoes got lost. She is now faced with the challenge to buy a new pair of shoes for the other boy.

Muthoni has to think fast because yesterday was a bad day in her business. She is still nursing bruises from a beating she had got last night from a client who demanded payment for the beer and food he had bought her. The row had been triggered by Muthoni asking for money when they went to bed. The client ended up beating her up and raping her. Now she doesn’t have any money, she has a terrible hangover yet someone is demanding payment for shoes.

She decides to make peace and offers to pay for the shoes later. Though the other women know better than challenging Muthoni into a fight, the shoes must be paid for, now. They insist and a quarrel ensues. One woman screams: “all those years of sex-work have not given you enough money to pay for the shoes!”  Muthoni is reminded of last night’s ordeal and she erupts into flames. She charges at the two women like a rhinoceros. As the two cower away, the assailant takes advantage and warns: “try the sex work yourselves and buy the shoes, I won’t pay!”

It is getting to lunch time and Tony*; Muthoni’s son should be coming home for lunch. There is no food in the house and this mother does not have money. She throws a shawl around her shoulders and goes to the shopping center. Her first stop is the local butchery but she has to play her cards well if she has to get any meat on credit. “Hi!” she starts at the butcher. The smile on her face is evident she needs a favor. The two exchange knowing glances and the butcher beckons her to join him in a room behind the butchery. Soon Muthoni comes from the back door wearing a grin. She has already got her son’s lunch and the fare to town for the next business.

Her son innocently takes the delicacy as mum prepares herself for the afternoon. She longingly looks at her phone wishing it would ring, and sure it does. An old friend is inviting her for lunch at the shopping center. She seizes the opportunity and moves out hurriedly. The lunch is accompanied by a few drinks which give her courage to suggestively keep glancing at the direction leading to the boarding and lodging  upstairs. The host knows the game and soon the two are headed upstairs hand in hand.

By the time she comes out, she is Ksh. 500 richer and a bit tipsy. She has to leave hurriedly now if she has to meet a client at 5,30 this evening. She has had a shower in the room so she needs to change and move to town. She boards a bus and the conductor smiles at her. She is a regular passenger. He declines to take her fare and instead tells her to call him later.

Tonight looks promising. As she sits in her local joint sipping a cold beer a drunkard walks in singing drunkenly: “…….I am a soldier in the army of the Lord…….” She smiles at him and beckons him to join her. The two are soon chatting like old friends. “Tonight is good, this client is drunk and sleepy thus easier to pay” she says to herself as she orders for more drinks. True, the clients pays, falls asleep and Muthoni has enough time to ransack his pockets. As she walks out with the loot, the man wakes and pounces on her. Not another beating………..Muthoni mummers as she vows to leave this business. But tomorrow finds her still looking for a cooperative client.

MY WELL WON BATTLE WITH T.B

DOING THE WRONG THING WITH THE RIGHT MOTIVE

It came loud and straight to the point: HIV is no longer an issue and should not be treated like an emergency from next year. This sounds so easy a sentence!

What the NASCOP Senior Program officer, Dr. Martin Sinego’s words, while speaking to the press on the government’s stand on HIV, lacked was knowledge and understanding of the whole scenario of the HIV virus. This is a life threatening condition and so far no cure has been found for it. The presentation of this condition to Kenyans more than two decades ago was as threatening as the virus. What Dr. Sinego should have thought is how to pull this presentation from Kenyans’ minds in more intensified education on transmission, prevention and treatment.

My guess may be wrong, but with all due respect some of our leaders in Kenya need serious peer and civic education and proper training to understand HIV. The comments usually made by these leaders make us reflect that the peer and civic education on HIV we give to the people in the grassroots should also be given to these leaders.

While the senior Programs Officer may have thought of fighting stigma in this style, what he lacks is an understanding that a lot is still untouched in HIV education in Kenya. HIV-related stigma is rife in health facilities. Before we jump to the conclusion that HIV is no longer an issue, let us take time to eliminate the malicious whispers, jeers and sneers from our health facilities. He may have done what I would call the 'wrong thing with the right motive'. Let us look for better ways and methods to fight stigma, especially in health facilities.

As our leaders explore the national HIV status, they supposedly view the reports which read that “all is well “in the provinces and counties. But who has ever listened to the news from the antenatal clinics where HIV+ mothers are treated with such indignation and disrespect? Who has addressed the issue of people living with HIV (PLHIV) who queue for hours in general hospital outpatients and are treated last because of their status?

Did I hear someone say 'the wearer knows where the shoe pinches? Unless you are infected with this virus, you cannot understand how unwelcome a visitor it is! While we comfort ourselves and say all is well, PLHIV cannot predict how they will wake up tomorrow. This virus keeps changing its form! Today somebody may be well, tomorrow you wake up with a swollen rib, a closed eye, a blocked nose or however the virus wants to manifest itself.

We must educate these leaders! The people in the grassroots seem to be more informed than them. Do you remember Minister for Special Programs, Esther Murugi’s recent remark of "locking up all HIV+ people"?  Without the slightest sign of remorse she said in front of cameras, pens and notebooks that people living with HIV should be segregated in a prevention bid. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Sinego speaks: “HIV is no longer an issue!”Come on leaders - explore and seek knowledge before you make such stigmatizing statements!